Bangalore Traffic at CincyIT

I came across this email from a friend, Brian Smith, that he wrote to me a few years back. If you’ve been to Bangalore then this will ring hilariously true. If not, it’s a real description of what you can expect on the streets. I’ve lived it. I thought I’d share it with you.

- Andy

DRIVING IN INDIA

It has been an experience driving in Bangalore, as well as between Hyderabad and Kakinada (a 10.5 hour road trip). At times it has been hilariously funny; at times it has been pretty intense; there were a couple of times that I was actually scared for my life. But what a riot it is to drive in India.

Because of the trip that I have taken to Kakinada, I have discovered that there are two different styles of driving: Urban driving and rural driving.

URBAN DRIVING

The best way that I can describe how the traffic flows in Bangalore is like an active river with boulders in the flow. The water of the stream is constantly shifting this way and that, rolling around the boulders without giving them much notice, carrying along with it all types of leaves and twigs and bubbles.

Yes, I know there are lines painted on the road. I don’t know why the government spends money painting those lines; they don’t mean anything. The river just flows…

Except instead of hearing the gentle gurgle of the water, you are hearing the constant chatter of horns. All kinds of horns. Small horns on mopeds all the way up to the large (and very intimidating) air horns on the large trucks. It is amazing how much can be said with the delicate toot on the horn, or a long, constant blast of the horn. The horn is used to communicate many things, such as:

“Hey buddy, I’m right off your back bumper so don’t slam on your brakes.”
“Hey buddy, you are veering close to my car. Try veering the other way.”
“Hey buddy, the light is about to turn green. Get ready.”
“Hey buddy, we’re all stopped in traffic. Isn’t it a lovely day?”
“Hey buddy, I’m coming around the corner so if you’re in the street you better get out of the way.”
“Hey buddy, I would like to take that space in front of you, please.”
“Hey buddy, it’s OK for you to take that space in front of me. Have a good day.”
“Hey buddy, I’m going to pass you because you are slow and I am zippy fast.”
“Hey buddy, I see that you are passing me. Have a nice day.”
“Hey buddy, that maneuver you just pulled was stupid. You should have looked in your mirrors.”

Oh yeah, mirrors. Mirrors are sooo over-used in America. You see, you just have to flow with the river. If you want to pass the person in front of you, just start veering to the right and give him a courteous toot to let him know. If there is a person on your other side who does not approve, he will let you know. If you want to turn onto a new road that is very busy, you don’t need to look and merge – you just turn; the river will flow around you. You don’t need to look where everyone is; you just need to listen to the sound of the horn. These ears of ours hear very well in three dimensions. I suppose instead of vision tests, they get hearing tests over here (that was a joke).

It is not unusual for the side mirrors to be removed (either with tools or the blunt force of another object hitting it). A large number of vehicles have some type of visible damage from minor accidents. For that matter, most traffic equipment (signs, gates, curbs, poles, trees lining the streets, etc.) shows evidence of being abused by the passing stream of traffic. I was surprised to learn that the concept of car insurance does exist in India, and the rates are actually quite cheap. The downside is, of course, that it is difficult to get a
payout from your insurance company, so it is not even worth the time to pursue claims for small repairs.

Regardless of the size or condition of the road, it is shared by all. Any time between 6:00 am and 12:00 am, there will always be traffic, and achieving speeds higher than 60 kph is difficult and short-lived. Every road will at all times simultaneously have the following travelers: Pedestrians, dogs, goats, cows, bicycles, bicycle
rickshaws, bicycle carts, auto rickshaws, mopeds, motorcycles, cargo rickshaws, all types of cars and small vans, carts pulled by oxen, farm tractors pulling a load, lorries (a cargo truck smaller than a US semi truck), construction vehicles, and large buses.

It is not unusual for a driver to suddenly make a decision to turn across multiple lanes of traffic. It is not unusual for brake lights to not be functioning correctly. It is unusual for a driver to use a blinker to indicate a turn or lane change ahead of time. A driver must stay constantly alert for how the river is flowing and plan
accordingly ahead of time. Somehow, even with all of this variety and chaos, only a few people (and maybe a couple of animals) are killed a day.

It is amazing to see what can be transported on a head or bicycle or motorcycle. Bunches of bananas, mounds of mangos, round bags of rice, piles of pans, loads of laundry baskets… Truly, it is an amazing
feat in some cases to strap on the cargo and travel all the way to the destination without losing the load, crushing the driver, or breaking the vehicle. In fact, it is rather common to see a standard motorcycle
carrying mom, dad, and two small children. It is common to see an auto rickshaw carrying four passengers. Truly, truly amazing.

Most busy intersections have traffic signals. Most travelers obey the traffic signals most of the time. If the intersection is regulated by a traffic officer, the travelers obey his commands for fear of having to “negotiate” the price of an infraction.There are certain busy intersections that don’t have traffic signals,
but should. In those cases, you’ve just got to push into the cars in front of you or you’ll never get across the street. Don’t worry that the cars in front of you are traveling perpendicular to the direction that you are going, and they are pushing into you to get across the street in their direction; with a little chatter via the horn, everything will be just fine.

Almost all vehicles are driven by men, but every once in a while you see a woman driving a more feminine-looking motorcycle or scooter. If a woman is a passenger on a motorcycle, most of the time she will sit
side saddle, but sometimes she will be sitting normal; it depends on the type of clothes she is wearing, since most women wear the equivalent of a dress.

RURAL DRIVING

There are large roads that are the equivalent of a nice four-lane divided highway in the US with a posted speed limit of up to 80 kph. The traffic thins out a bit out in the country, yielding the tempting
possibility of actually using 5th gear. There is no concept of getting a speeding ticket, so if the driver if bold enough they may have the ability to reach upwards of 120 kph.

Unfortunately, as stated previously, the road is shared equally by all. Even if you get a nice stretch of open road where you can kick it up above 100, you never know when there will be a farm tractor or a herd of buffalo just around the next corner. This forces a natural speed limit on the driver that is often less than the posted speed limit, and this tension between high-speed and low-speed travelers is very abusive to the horn, the high-beams, the brakes, and the nerves.

It seems that many drivers can’t seem to fathom why the government built two roads that exactly parallel each other. I mean, two entire lanes going in a single direction?! What a waste of good pavement. So it is very common for cars to actually turn the “divided highway” into “two parallel roads” by driving in the wrong direction for the lane.

The phenomenon of completely ignoring painted lines is apparently relegated only to the city of Bangalore; drivers outside of Bangalore did maintain better lane discipline, but are still much more loose about passing on the other side of the street than us tight Americans.

Hitch-hikers are very common. There are many men who need to travel (mostly for work) but cannot afford a vehicle or a bus ride. The lorries seem friendly enough to pick up these people, and it is common to see upwards of six people riding on top of the load of a truck (20 feet up, open air, no seat belt).

Paved roads are in good condition most of the time. If a road is not paved, however, you must travel very slowly. The roads of a village are usually not paved. Nearly all city roads are paved. With the notable exception of how travelers actually use them, the roads themselves are equivalent to the highway system (not the Interstate system) in America.

Conclusion: It is best to say your prayers and be right with God before leaving for your destination.